Indelible Blue Pen

Jason C. McDonald (CodeMouse92)

November 18, 2011

That group stupidity we all call popular culture…

I’ve given up watching those entertainment news shows. If there is anything I’ve learned from those programs, it is that celebrities are dysfunctional individuals. Hollywood anymore is comparable to Batman’s Arkham City: a town of people too crazy to let loose on the rest of the world (in the flesh, that is). Maybe that’s why movie studios have such high security…

And yet, these same goofballs are the ones that run popular culture. A star shows up in public wearing a dress that looks like it was made while the designer was under the influence, and the next thing you know, people are knocking each other over to buy the last one at the boutique.

Popular fashion is a weird thing. A lot of kids my age are walking around in jeans that look like they were rubbed with bacon grease and tossed in a gator pit. I’d like to know how that one started. My best guess is that some teen got a lousy hand-me-down, and decided to make the best of it.

The most amazing part about it? We pay hundreds of dollars for this stuff! I’m sorry, but we shouldn’t have to take out a loan to buy clothes, much less pre-destroyed ones. Here’s an idea. Buy a pair of old jeans from Goodwill and run over them with your car a few dozen times. That’ll save you about eighty bucks right there (minus the cost of fuel.)

As if that didn’t look weird enough, moderns teens have enough metal in their faces and bodies now that cops won’t even need guns and tasers to arrest them. All they have to do is mount an electromagnet to the top of the patrol car. I still can’t wrap my mind around the whole diaper-pin-through-the-earlobe bit (which we can thank my hometown of Seattle for.) I’m sorry, but that doesn’t look trendy at all. It looks like you kids got in a fight with a mob of temperamental nannies.

Music is another area of collective weirdness, more specifically music videos. If you’ve read my previous post, you’ll know how much I enjoy a good music video, but those usually only show up in the Christian and country music arenas. Bill Cosby put it best in describing modern vids – “This is just a nightmare put to music.” (Unfortunately, that carries over even into some “Christian” videos. There are some groups I cannot stand…most of them screamo metal.)

People anymore don’t think much of the meaning of lyrics, the message behind a movie, or the theme of a music video. It seems that, half the time, even the artists don’t really know what they’re singing. Lady Gaga has changed her official interpretation of her song “Judas” so many times, I lost count. At the end of the day, I think it comes down to denial.

Movies, unfortunately, are more or less in the same boat. There are a lot of stellar flicks out there, but they are agonizingly outnumbered by the number of pointless ones. The worst part is, many of these movies have BRILLIANT storylines. Why they have to fill them up with a lot of trash, I don’t think we’ll ever know.

My sibs and I have a little habit of mocking anything that the main teen populace is going ga-ga over. At the moment, the primary target is Twilight (apologies to any fans). The premise, in case some of you readers have managed to avoid catching it, is a girl who is in love with vampire. (Umm…I thought the idea of dating was to AVOID the blood-sucking boyfriend…?) I live a few hours away from Forks, Washington, which I’ve dubbed “The Twilight Zone.” I remember a simpler time when girls steered clear of the dudes that would drain the very lifeblood out of you, and the ones that would shape-shift on you. Now they’re all going nuts over Edward and Jacob. Hollywood does it again.

So, my sibs and I rewrote the ending…”Then Edward found the garlic breadsticks with his pizza order, and was never heard from again. Meanwhile, Jacob was tagged and relocated by the wildlife society.”

Why are we even trying to emulate celebrates? They spend millions on weddings for marriages that last two weeks, and then fill up the tabloids for another six months with their nasty divorce battles. I’m thinking, to save time and money, the California courtrooms should just put the justice of the peace across from the divorce courtroom. Then, the stars can get married, cross the hall, and get the divorce. (Hey, at least the legal fees help reduce some of California’s debt.) Maybe they’re part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high.

As if that weren’t bad enough, they give their children loopy names and spend millions on building mansions for their chihuahuas. Yet, with all their money and fame, they are so miserable that they get drunk, do drugs, and shoplift. Why do we think that we’ll be any happier by acting just like them?

Where have our brains gone, exactly? Popular culture seems to be turning us all into a mob of brainless zombies (wait, that IS the new fad, isn’t it?). We walk around in shredded clothing, listening to a singer who dresses in meat, and hope for a vampire for a significant other. Think about that for a minute. Fifty years ago, this would have amounted to insanity.

Maybe we all should be seriously rethinking what we consider trendy. Right now, it’s like we’re all a bunch of lemmings, and Hollywood is pointing us to the cliff. God help us.



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