Picture by Stephen Nakatani
by Jason C. McDonald
Lefty McCorsky was quite possibly the best pitcher in minor league baseball. In fact, he might be the best pitcher in the history of baseball altogether, but none of the statisticians were ever present at our games to prove it.
As popular legend has it around here, before a batter has a chance to react to one of Lefty’s pitches, his curveball has already come around and smacked them in the back of the head.
Lefty was really the only redeeming element of our local team, the Thompsonville Pluckers. We didn’t have any stats on our team because, as it turns out, a zero-win record makes for difficult number crunching. Apparently you can’t divide by zero – at least, according to the local bookkeeper, the only person in Thompsonville to remember anything from math past basic multiplication. Of course, there are the rumors that he’s just avoiding doing the math, because he’s part owner of the team, and looking at the numbers depresses him.
Skills aside, we were a baseball town. You could find us in the stands every Friday night. The hot peanuts were worth the humiliation of our perfect losing record, and anyway, there wasn’t much else to do on a Friday night.
It has been an interesting experience for me to get used to job interviews as the interviewer instead of as the interviewee. It isn’t that I haven’t had to interview for a job before, but I’ve spent more time on the boss’ side of the table than anything.
In the process, I’ve learned something: articles and classes on how to nail a job interview are crap. Guess what, ya’ll? Interviewers read those too. We know when you’re putting on an act.
So I would like to present to you the truth about job interviews from a different angle. Here’s a handy guide on how to tick me off during the hiring process and ensure you DON’T get hired.
If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to Tweet about it, does it happen?
That was the question that I posed to my philosophy student friend, Dave. His response, “No Tweet? Never happened.” Of course, he’s totally kidding (I hope), but it brings up a relatively disturbing point: at what point did social media become so incredibly anti-social?
Now, I’m all for using the internet to communicate with other people (I write this blog, don’t I?) My company’s workday is about 95% telecommuting. I keep in touch with my friends around the country and the world via Facebook and Twitter. Besides that, I’ve moderated several forums and an IRC channel over the years. I know how much good can come of social media. I also know how much bad can come of it.
There are basically two ways a social media platform goes down: A) quietly, without so much as a death whimper, or B) in a fiery explosion of flaming and ranting that leaves everyone ticked off. In my experience, it tends to be the second.
Silence is an art form – this coming from someone who, by all accounts, can talk a camel into sprouting wings. I’m like most Americans in that I have strong views about politics. Very, very, VERY strong views. And, like most Americans, I had little trouble sharing them. I just opened up and let ‘er fly.
Then God challenged me, two days after New Year 2012: spend the entire year without once sharing my political views. Some of you may remember this resolution, and how it turned out for me. (I got off a month early, after the election, but only to share this message.)
Talk about your paradigm shifts. For the longest time, I thought I had a corner on political (and otherwise) truth. I had the best solutions, and everyone else was crazy. I know I am far from alone in that flawed sentiment. (If you doubt it, read the comments on the online news sites.) Now, for the first time, I realized that all my political views, even the correct ones, were in some way wrong!